Volume 9 Chapter 6 - Over Thinking

Part 1

I am interested in Fitts-senpai.

As always, I see him once every 10 days.

Not that there is anything specific to talk about.

But, no matter what, it has caught my attention.

I am interested in his casual gestures.

Like how he scratches behind his ears or how he stretches when he finishes his job.

Like how he smells when he suddenly passes by in front of me.

Right, there is his smile as well.

That smile just bothers me, like I've seen it before.

The days when we don't see each other are the same, I suddenly catch myself searching for him in the crowd.

In fact, I see him in the crowd a lot.

It’s him and Ariel-hime, they are famous in the school.

Beside being part of the student council he is one of the best students in the school as well.

Fitts-senpai is one of the most respected people in the school.

He is called [Silent Fitts] because he rarely talks.

As an escort of the princess, he has top class ability even in the magic university.

It would be a matter of fact to respect him.

I’ve been chasing him with my eyes.

Even I know what this condition is called.

It’s called love.

I have fallen in love with a man.

No, I wonder if he's really a man.

That’s it.

That is the question.

Is Fitts-senpai a man or a woman?

Depending on the answer to that, I would know whether I am homosexual or straight.

Since it seems to be the cure for my illness, I don’t really care which one he is.

Either man or woman is okay, but I'd prefer woman.

Part 2

So, I began to collect information.

The quickest way is to ask the person himself.

But, that's a last resort, since it's possible that he's sensitive to having a womanly face.

First of all, I went to the staff room.

There should be some information in the faculty room.

The truth is probably written on the list.

Even if they can’t give away the students' personal information, they might tell me his gender.

With those thoughts in mind, I head to the faculty building.

Of the teachers present, I find the one in charge of Fitts-senpai's class.

"I’d like to ask you about Fitts-senpai’s gender."

"I can’t talk about him."

"Isn’t there any way…"

The teacher looks nervous.

Apparently, I seem to be feared.

I figured that the students were afraid of me, but not so much that even the teachers were scared of me as well.

No, actually, it's convenient.

"If you don't talk, my thick, hard Stone Cannon may make a mess of your ass."

"Ah…! Why… you."

"Or you might get caught in another prank pulled by mischievous students. Or would a water prank be more to your liking?”

"… Please, I'm sorry!"

The teacher was very stubborn.

He didn’t give in to the threats.

"I'm just kidding!"

I gave up on him and went to see Vice Principal Jinas.

If people on the bottom won't talk, I should just move up from there.

At the end of the faculty building.

Jinas was drowning in documents.

Well it’s a very big school after all.

There is so much work even for the Vice Principal.

Disturbing him is bad, so I’ll try to finish it fast.

"Jinas-sensei."

"Rudeus-san…"

"You seem really busy."

"No, no, thanks to Rudeus-san taking care of the trouble making children, my job has decreased a lot."

Trouble makers.

Who does he mean?

Maybe Badigadi?

Or Zanoba?

No matter how you look at them they are not children.

"What may I help you with?"

"Yes, actually I wanted to hear about Fitts-senpai."

When I say that, Jinas's eyebrow jumps up suddenly.

"I am sorry, regarding them I am under pressure from higher ups so…"

"Is that so."

Forget them and answer my question damn it.

I wanted to say that, but after seeing his tired face I decided not to.

Schools have a lot of these things as well.

Like getting funds for allowing the 2nd Princess in the school…

"At the very least, can you tell me his gender?"

"Uh-huh…… gender you mean……"

Jinas made a bitter smile.

As always, he is man of bitter smiles.

He waited for a minute.

Not doing anything and waiting for a minute made it feel long.

"He is a boy…………"

Jinas answered so eventually.

Part 3

In the end, I couldn’t figure out whether Fitts-senpai was a man or a woman.

Jinas said he is a "man”, but he is under pressure and he hesitated when saying that, so there is the possibility that he lied.

However, Jinas called them the equivalent of “Karera”, but if we considered Ariel-hime and Fitts-sempai to be woman and Luke the only man, he should have called them “Kanojora”.

No, this is just playing with words, it’s not to the level of being a valid reason.

"Sigh."

By the time I came back to myself, I was in the library.

And was sitting at the seat where we usually do our research and sighing.

"Huh……"

Am I afraid of finding out his gender?

If he was a woman, would I be confessing to her?

Confession?

Say “I love you”?

Me?

I think that's important… but.

I feel something is not right.

I feel it’s not like that.

Even if I do confess, then what?

With my body the way it is now, what do I want to do?

My son’s lack of reaction isn't because I am out of juice.

My head is filled with worldly desires, but I can’t do anything about it, I’ll reach my limit eventually, it’s just too hard.

Yeah.

I will not deceive myself with vague words like love and like.

I want to do it with Fitts-senpai.

Doing stuff like this and that. Nah, not even going that far is good enough.

"……so long as my son’s power generator works again."

And, at that time.

I was hit on the shoulder with a pop.

I turned around and Fitts-senpai was there.

"What do you want to do?"

Fitts-senpai saw me and sneaked up on me.

"Uo?"

I stand up in surprise and the seat gets caught between my legs.

"Whoa, that was dangerous!"

Fitts-senpai stretches his hand in order to help me.

I grab his hand, but with Fitts-senpai’s strength, he can’t support my weight.

"Wow!"

We get tangled together with the chair and table while falling.

By the time I noticed, we had fallen, and I was on top of Fitts-senpai. I fell while hugging him.

"……"

"……"

My face was very close to Fitts-senpai though he had his sunglasses on so I couldn’t tell his expression, but I could see his small lips.

He was light, but the lightness of a competent person.

And I started to feel his warmth.

A gentle and stimulating fragrance enters my nose.

This is Fitts-senpai’s fragrance, the fragrance I’ve been longing for the whole day.

My hands move to Fitts-senpai’s waist and hip.

It's a thin waist.

I can’t believe this is a man’s waist.

The ass is a bit thin for a woman, but it’s soft.

I can’t think of him as a man.

Just by touching this, my bad boy is throbbing.

Oh.

"Oh, s-sorry-"

Fitts-senpai stood up with a red face while apologizing.

"I…… Fitts-senpai is a girl after all……"

Fitts-senpai had a flabbergasted expression.

And his mouth was flapping without a sound.

In the end, he shook his head.

"You are wrong…… I'm a boy!"

Fitts-senpai rose up, turned around and started running, he was like the wind.

"…………"

Beside the table, several books had fallen, he might have come to take these materials for his class.

Fitts-senpai was a woman, he was a woman, it was an important point, but more important than that was.

“It’s standing up……”

After 3 years of inactivity, it’s finally standing up.

With just a touch, my son who was sleeping for the past 3 years woke up. Just to test it, I touch it with my right hand and yes… it got its feeling's back.

"I see…………"

At this time, I finally understood what Hitogami meant.

Well, certainly, doing research in the library.

“But Fitts-senpai was hiding it”

I knew from the start he was hiding something.

She cross-dressed and protected the princess.

She was definitely hiding something.

She probably has a reason for this.

But I can’t dig any deeper into her reasons. If I do, it would annoy her.

Although she went to the trouble to cross-dress… if it’s found out because of me, it would be troublesome.

I like Fitts-senpai.

The one I love has some reason to hide their gender.

Should I reveal Fitts-senpai's identity just because my worldly desires that have been repressed for the past few years are about to erupt? Nah, what I should be doing is protecting Fitts-senpai's secret, not revealing it.

I have to keep her secret.

I need to read the mood.

The hell, if I don’t do that I’ll likely say something like, “I’ll keep silent so come to my room tonight”.

Saying something like that to Fitts-senpai who has been taking care of me so far.

But seeing that Fitts-senpai taking his clothes off in front of me while saying “I didn’t think you were this kind of person…” just imagining him in underwear.

I wonder if it’s white?

No, no, no.

This is not good, not good.

That’s no good.

Haven’t I been saved by him … no, her a number of times.

To repay her like this is unforgivable.

Either way, I am not that kind of person.

I'm a gentleman.

Alright, I’ll treat her as a boy to the best of my ability.

And when she is likely to be found out, I’ll help her no matter what.

Yes, just like how she saved me on enrollment day.

Surely, even at that time, it would have been dangerous.

Talking about the dorm rules and defending me, she put her position in danger.

But, she helped me.

I do not know why, but she helped me anyway.

Once a similar situation occurs, then it's time for my turn.

I'll help, Fitts-sempai.

“Wait a minute, if she is a woman……”

After thinking that far.

Suddenly, I remembered.

Until now, thinking Fitts-senpai was a boy I did so many sexual harassment things in front of her.

For example, such as the sexual harassment remarks in the slave market.

Such as the sexual harassment remark when I kidnapped Pursena and Rinia.

Such as the sexual harassment remarks made when she was holding my wand.

I was in despair……

Part 4

When I finished thinking it over, my son had gone back to being a hikikomori.

Even rubbing it had no effect.

It's better than the past 2-3 years in which he would not even react to anything, at least he stood up this time.

Apparently, he seems to be far from a complete recovery.

Well it’s better than nothing.

Let’s head back to my room and take it slowly.

Yeah, let’s start by remembering the feeling from just now.

--- Ariel's Perspective ---

Again, Sylphy came back crying.

“I said I am a boy, ughu… though it was my chance, even though Rudi took the initiative to ask me…”

"…………That's rough."

Well, how many times have I calmed her down while saying that.

Every time something happens, Sylphy comes to me crying.

But to me, it’s like she was bragging about her lover.

One time it was, she went to the slave market with Rudi and he showed her his manliness, it was the first time she saw a man totally naked, she even got along with Zanoba-ouji of Shirone Kingdom.

Another time, she reported that Rudi was angry at Pursena and Rinia saying even if you win a duel you can’t go breaking other peoples' stuff…

Another time, she was saying that Rudi asked her to help with research while sighing.

The other time, when Rudi asked her about love counseling, she was afraid that he might have fallen in love with someone else and had said some high handed things to him.

Another time she said, I was allowed to look at Rudi’s staff, the magic stone in it was so big, I bet it’s very expensive.

And she said that she was allowed to transport it to him with an excited expression.

The other time, she was talking about how cool Rudi was in his fight against Badi-sama.

Sometimes, she said with a sad face, Rudi was doing research with the “Silent”-san [Nanahoshi].

And today, she came crying about lying to Rudi about her gender and then running away.

(Sigh …I wish she would just reveal her identity to him already)

By this time, I had my own impression of him as well. At first I thought he was just a scaredy-cat, but I now know that's just his front, and he is very strong.

He had Shirone Kingdom’s miko Zanoba as his underling…

He managed to tame the 2 princesses from the Beast Race, Rinia and Pursena…

As well as getting along with Cliff, the grandson of the pope of Milis Kingdom…

He had Badigadi-sama as his acquaintance and all that is without mentioning the cooperation from the grumpy “Silent” who even refused to cooperate with me.

And all the Special Students who I was planning to have on my team, those were isolated people, are now his allies.

If he was a scaredy-cat, he wouldn’t have been able to do this.

Regarding the talk we had about “The rumors being strangely clean”, now I have no doubt they were all correct…

His magic blew up the Demon King Badigadi… Blew him up!

The existence that I could only stand in fear and watch, unable to do anything about, he blew him up with one move.

He is too strong.

Well after seeing that, I believe he could beat one or two stray dragons by himself.

Even though he has such strength, he is extremely good-natured.

Even when he was threatened by female students and was falsely accused of being an underwear thief, he did not get angry.

Since he came to this school, the only time he got angry was regarding the matter of Rinia and Pursena.

As to what he did, I heard he kept them captive for a day and doodled on their faces.

However, even those Rinia and Pursena were totally frightened and became obedient.

Surely, they received his anger up close and personal.

The anger of someone who beat that Demon King with a single blow.

Of course, even they didn’t spread bad rumors about Rudeus.

I mean, they were so afraid that they wouldn't spread such rumors.

Rudeus had been careful not to make a mistake, and had been living while he was hiding his power.

Even though he has that much power, and he can do anything he likes.

I don’t know why he lives like this, but no matter how much I think, I get the feeling that he is planning something bad no matter what.

But, according to Sylphy, he is not a bad person.

I met him for the first time when he was dueling Fitts, I felt he was a warm person.

Though his appearance was suspicious, he was a friendly person.

Having been beaten with one attack, Sylphy was a bit on guard at first, but after that I don’t see any change in his attitude.

So I think it’s good to have a connection with him and through him, all the Special Students.

Maybe it’s time to bow my head fair and square and ask for his cooperation.

But…… I should admit it.

I'm afraid of him.

I am scared.

I wonder, is it because Sylphy is strong that she is not afraid of him?

Or maybe it’s because she saw his true nature? After seeing Sylphy’s happy face, I would feel bad about getting Rudeus tangled in my struggle for power.

I want Sylphy to be happy.

It does not seem likely for me to be able to grasp happiness, but she is just a child who got tangled up in my struggle for power.

She has no responsibility as a noble, nor like Luke who has sworn loyalty to me.

She is just helping me out of friendship.

She has no need to go as far as to lie in her blood for my sake.

She better leave at some point and have a happy life as a girl.

Sylphy may not accept it.

She, being aware of her position as my ally, did her best, but her love for Rudeus might be a good opportunity.

Me behaving like this is probably because Rudeus would be a very good ally to have.

It would be good to leave Sylphy’s life, my friend’s life, in his hands.

Forgetting Sylphy is a minus, but let’s leave it at that.

Well, the problem is Sylphy’s love, I don’t know how much she loves him, but seeing no progress is very irritating.

Even after a year of spending time together, it has not progressed at all, that kind of love is the problem.

Dense Rudeus and awkward Sylphy.

It’s very frustrating to watch these two.

I thought Sylphy was more impatient.

Sylphy does not seem to be aware, but it’s not unthinkable for Rudeus to go out with anyone else at anytime.

For example, Pursena and Rinia.

Though they don’t seem to be conscious of Rudeus for now, who knows what might happen in 1-2 more years.

And there is “Silent” as well.

That grumpy masked woman is helping Rudeus with research.

Based on Sylphy’s story, they don’t have that kind of relationship at the moment, but being together for a long time, who knows what might happen.

While Sylphy is dilly-dallying, Rudeus might be taken by someone else…

No, he will be taken.

At the least, there is no reason for him to refrain because of Fitts, since he only asked [Are you a woman?] to the cross-dressing Fitts. It does not mean anything.

Hmm.

But that means, he at least noticed that Fitts is a woman.

I thought he was a dense person, but there is the possibility that he was aware and kept it to himself.

No, it is possible that he knew our situation and kept it to himself to not cause us any problems.

Assuming that’s the situation, then is it my fault?

Am I the one getting in the way of Sylphy’s love?

(Right, I need to… stop holding her back.)

Then, I need to support her love.